Current mood:

depressed

I should have known that earthquake meant weirdness was afoot. Xander ran into Angel, Spike (whose big flamey death was somehow less than deadly), some poor human guy who wasn't even conscious, and, um, something else. Plus, a whole boatload of bad news. There's big evil chasing them, and they need help, and oh yeah, by the way, Fred, Cordelia, and Wes are dead.

I never really got to know Fred. I was going to call her soon, too. She's one of the reasons I was looking forward to living in California. L.A.'s not that far from San Diego; we could have hung out once in a while. I never met anyone else I could talk to about science and magic and everything else the way I could talk to her. I think she would have understood why I've chosen to study theoretical physics.

She was Fred. There's no one else like her. This thing that wears her body - that isn't Fred. How can they just accept her like that? Let her walk around wearing Fred's face?

And how could he let Wesley die? And Cordelia? I thought I knew Angel once. Well, not "knew" in the way that Buffy did maybe, but he was a friend, and someone I could trust. He helped us. He saved my life more than once.

Then he went off and joined up with the Corporation O'Evil? He says it was to fight them from the inside, but how can we trust him? Our friends who trusted him are gone now.

Is this my fault? Maybe there's too much evil in me, now, and the last time I gave him his soul back, I screwed up. Maybe I gave him an evil soul, or a tainted one, or maybe it went bad somehow. Maybe souls are like cheese, and if you don't store them at a proper temperature, they go bad and stinky.

I don't know. I should say something about Wes and Cordelia, but I can't. I just can't deal with all this right now. Dawn's at the hospital, looking after the poor guy they brought with him, Buffy's trying to deal with the whole Spike thing, and we've all got to prepare for this big horde o'demons that may or may not be coming.

But Xander's back. And that's the one part of the day that didn't suck even a little bit. It's good to have him home.